Corrupt A Wish Foundation

[volsung]

Granted, but it is now hiding in a labyrinth ten times the size of that city.

I wish for a good book and a quiet evening in.

[Wilhelm Bear-Heart]

Granted, however, the book is the "Gentleman's Guide to Whiterun," oh, and you know that quiet evening you wanted, well you get that too, but it's in the cold, cramped, and damp cell of Dragonsreach's dungeon.

I wish for a computer than can run StarCraft II.

[volsung]

Granted, but this computer and your self are locked in a tall tower with no electricity.

I wish I had a pony.

[winterskill]

The pony is a fiery Nightmare that burns down your house and causes horrible burning that feels really bad when you get in the shower.

I wish Star Wars: The Old Republic was free.

[sievan]

It is now, but it's extremely buggy, and lags incessantly...then burns your graphics card.

I wish I had more muse!

[Wilhelm Bear-Heart]

Granted, however, it only gives you inspiration to write depressing poetry that eventually causes you to kill yourself.

I wish that my phone went "FUS RO DAH!" everytime I got a text message.

[sievan]

Granted, but it blows a hole in your pants when it rings, and you're in the middle of a public place, and everyone laughs at your bare rear.

I wish I had more time before I had to go back to school.

[hawke]

Granted! But then the school year lasts twice as long and you have to work through summer to make up for the time or they won't give you the credits for it.

I wish I didn't have to go look for jobs tomorrow.

[sievan]

Granted, but then you don't have any money and thus no Internet! D:

I wish Morrowind had quick-travel like Oblivion and Skyrim do...

[volsung]

Granted, but you loose the ability to travel normally all together.

I wish I a good facial cleanser to wash all this face paint off at the end of the night.

[winterskill]

The cleanser is amazing, however it is so good that you remove your skin and nose, prompting you to look like a ghoul from the Fallout series.

I wish the work day would be over!

[sievan]

Work day is over, but guess what? You have a ton of housework.

I wish I had more time and muse.

[volsung]

Granted, but it's muse for a series you hate! And on top of that time has stopped, so while your producing tons of posts, no one else can!

I wish I had a handsome knight to sweep me off my feet.

[Wilhelm Bear-Heart]

Granted, but he's only handsome in the dark, and he's got horrible garlic and ass breath.

I wish for a better jacket.

[sievan]

Granted, but it's full of scorpions, and you learn this only after putting it on.

I wish I wasn't tired.